Today was the last day of Samyama. So, i went in the culmination satsang.
I have almost missed it and after witnessing what has happened inside of it, if i had missed i would have regretted it.
Starting from the start…
It was not a good start. As the day went ahead. I did my Sadhana went to office, rushed for food first batch almost missed there. Talked to swami asked for bike and took the boxes to courier office.
My coordinator anna asked me to leave the bike at Sangha. Then there was a block because Sadhguru was about to pass. So, i did not go that side. I parked the bike at KK. Then i didn’t feel right. I picked up bike and took it to sangha. Fortunately, they allowed me. I was struggling with, what if they will not allow me.
Somehow i left the bike and ran towards the entry gate of Suryakund which was 300 m far from the place. Once i reach there they did not allow me. Because i did not have the id card.
I felt my day was not good maybe.
So, I kept walking towards KK. In the middle of the road two people asked me, why am not I going? I said them what has happened.
Later, I ran. I ran to KK, got the id card and ran to Suryakund, at the middle if the run I was saying to myself, “If i accept this to be a bad day and don’t try to make it good it will be worse, it is okay if they send me from the gate but I will run.”
I reached there on time they allowed me.
I sat throughout the program. Sadhguru came and did joke about various things and talk about many different aspect. But the impactful thing was… The chant before his discourse. It hit different this time.
Couple of drop came to my eyes. And then the program went. It ended well. Later Sadhguru came to visited among the volunteers, everybody stood up blocking the view. I did not go. Later i stood up too but everybody went near him and i was still standing far.
He came and right before he went, he stopped, looked back. People were still screaming, he usually leaves but he raised his hand did something. I did not know what happened but i just bust with tears.
I couldn’t handle myself and it was the best experience i ever had in my life.
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Being a sceptic i always resist my experience thinking maybe i am making it up but this was so unplanned and barely imagined happened. Which made me realise how fortunate am i!!
Here and there i keep thinking should i go back or stay in the Ashram? But this is getting clearer clearer day by day. Where else can i find such a phenomenon happening.
I felt for a moment that when Sadhguru was leaving he must have thought “let me throw myself a little more into them”
Definitely, I always wished to be a part of the earliest isha programs, i mean the scale and impact with which it used to happen but even now the fact that i am with the same Guru is not less than anything. He is planning for 10 more years so this is the opportunity for me.
2 years have passed and next 10 years, i must make use of it. Later we will see what to do.
one thing is for sure, i am not going anywhere. This is the place. I am sticking to it forever.