i dont remember after how many weeks i visited Dhyanlinga yesterday and realised what the hell was i doing.
I was practising flute at the night at nalanda ground after dinner and kept practising late.
Usually i was supposed to come back and teach shriparna guitar but i kept playing ignoring that i have to teach her to.
In a few minutes she crossed before me and i was kept playing.
Later when it was half an hour remaining i called her asking if she is still here we can practice some more.
Then she was there in the ground i went to her and another anna was also there. So instead of doing anything i lie down there and started looking at the open sky filled with stars which later covered by the cloud.
After 9:33PM they asked me if I want yo go to Dhynalinga. I said yes i will go.
Then we head back to the KK and i started talking, i thought they will go without me, but shreeparna came back and said from the otherside “Anna we are waiting for you”. So i rushed and joined them.
I went to dhyanlinga and it was hot as usual but the feel change because in some times it rained and that feel of being inside Dhyanlinga made me feel it can align my energies and help me reduce over my compulsion.
I was going samyama satsang regularly during March samyama and it just made all the spirituality come.out of me gradually. I don’t know what is it but i still think that even my longing for spirituality is also a part of my compulsion which eventually went after my first Samyama and now it is a conscious process.
So in this context i must visit Dhyanlinga everyday and keep track of my ability to sit in the space this is why i am here and i must make the best use of this possibility.
I told shreeparna once that, just like this this year will go and you will hit 9th year without learning Guitar. If you can steal some minutes from every day and practice you can grow unimaginably.
same goes for the Dhynalinga as well. If i am sincere about it then. My sadhana and Dhyanlinga can do miracles in my life and i need to acknowledge that.
Just by sitting inside the sphere for 15 minutes was fantastic, i did not want to come back now, i have got to do it. Every morning first thing i would do it go inside the dome. Without any time and calculation of what sadhana is pending and which video is pending i will sit.
How to sit
This is important that how am i being within when i am sitting there. Because usually thoughts of past and future comes when i am inside the dome.
i keep planning for the near future or worrying about what are the things that are not right in the society or in my family that is needed to be sorted.
apart from that also all those things that i think is important come in my mind but then i realised something.
there was a time recently when a thought of going out and working came in my mind and i could visualise how it was going to be. Work work work, repeating the same thing not knowing how it is helping other, dealing with people,living upto their assumed expectation. So called important work. During such a time my mind xan easily shuts down.
i simply feel like sitting without worrying anything about them amidst all the issues happening around me.
It is not when i have nothing to do i sit well. But it is when i am overwhelming amount of work to do i simply leave everything and sit as if i dont want to get up and have to do any of it. Even if the world disappears.
This is how i need to sit all the time.
Now that not much fuss going on in my life i should not wait for such thing to close my eyes and sit leaving everything.
I have to realise that i literally don’t have the responsibility so i can literally sit as long as i want. And second is i can sit leaving all the burden i have with a certain ease.
After coming from dhyanalinga
My hands were fold until i reach to KK under the rain in the night at 10 Pm. This was a big shift in the emotional level because i am feeling like a devotees is most important as how i am conducting my life.