You make the first move

If you want to make more quality friends then this blog is going to reveal some interesting facts about human beings that will allow you to understand people better and give you an advantage over others to build relationships faster.

Find quality people

Building a relationship is good. But you can’t afford to make all the people in this world your friend! you are supposed to look for the people whom you would like to have in your life, with whom you would like to hang out.

After I had my break up with my girlfriend, I was alone in the city. She was there but I did not want to meet her because building memory could cause me severe damage because it is taking too much time to fade away.

When I stopped meeting her, all of a sudden I felt I have no one to talk to.

So, I started doing my work and I increased my productivity but sometimes even for 5 minutes when I am not working, I feel alone in my room.

So, I had a crazy idea in my mind.

“Let’s make people aware of the save soil movement by holding a poster in the crowd ” fun right?

I went and printed the poster and the next day I was ready to hold it in my hand to make people aware. But now, it is freaking uncomfortable for me.

Somehow I gathered courage and went. I stood on the Marathalli bridge holding that poster in my hand and I got 14 people who came and took selfies with me out of 600+ people who paid attention.

But, out of them, one case was different.

I was standing there and a girl came from a distance noticing the board. This was normal everybody used to do it. She just crossed me and stopped. Maybe she was thinking about whether to approach me or not?

When she stopped, I smiled inside the mask and asked, ” would you like to take a selfie with me ?”

she said, ” yes!… no!”

I did not understand, what she meant.

then she shared her story with me that she had lost her phone, she is with isha foundation, she was supposed to do this and all.

For a moment, she thought I am a part of the isha foundation. We shared a couple of thoughts.

The next day we meet at the same spot, we talked for some minutes, and this time she offered me ice cream.

What I wanted to tell you out of the story is when I had break up with my ex, I had made up my mind not to fall in love with any girl who is not spiritual and does not have an entrepreneurial mindset. I told myself not to fall in love with a girl, who is being bubbly around, being selfish and does not understand the responsibilities of a relationship.

Now, being alone in this big city I had no idea how to make friends but I found a girl at least I would like to spend my time with.

In order to find quality people or the people you most resonate with, go to a place where they must be hanging out. Do you want some party freak? Go to a club. Do you want some entrepreneurs? Go to some seminar. Do you want some fitness freak? Visit a gym. I wanted spiritual people, I did something that matters to spiritual people and they got attracted to me.

In order to find quality people, go to the place where they hang out, do the stuff they are most likely to be doing, you will manifest them.

Make people Awkward

The second step is making people awkward.

You see, smart people on this planet are also scared to go in front of the stage. The moment you separate yourself from the crowd you tend to get attention and people are scared of that.

One of the major reasons people don’t come to me to take selfies is because if they come they will be separated from the crowd and it is uncomfortable. They feel comfortable moving at the same pace, and some people who really care also hesitate a little.

But the moment, I ask them with a gentle smile, whether they want to take a selfie, they reply back nodding their head with a grin with a conviction that feels this was the conversation going on in their mind.

Today, in the morning I went to a nearby lake park for jogging.

Some people are walking, some people are running, some are moving clockwise and some are moving anticlockwise. Now every single time they are crossing each other, they are intentionally avoiding eye contact.

Now, is this possible that we can see in the eyes of the other person, with a smile on our face, say, ” Good morning”? Well, absolutely possible.

Imagine, how beautiful would it be?

So, I decided to play the game of uncomfortableness. There was a man coming from the front running towards me. I kept looking into his eyes, with a smile on my face. the moment he saw me I show him a thumbs up.

Guess what?

He could not handle it.

He looked down and show me a thumbs up back and passed and I knew I was going to meet him again next time I just smiled at him he looked at me and then we pass each other.

It’s not that he didn’t want to talk to me. but we can’t gather the courage to talk to a stranger.

In a big city like Banglore, in a crowded place like a park, we are still alone. It’s been only 12 years of smartphones on the earth and we’ve got comfortable texting someone staying behind the screen of a phone that approaching someone in real life, is freaking. Somewhere, we forget to learn that skill.

Can I confront something? We all want to meet new people and talk. Because that makes us human. So, approach from your side because the other person also wants to talk to you, it’s just that he/she can’t gather enough courage to approach. If you can do that you will make so many quality friends in your life.


Swapneswar Barik.

PS: Exception are everywhere.

1 thought on “You make the first move”

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