#23 From Feeling Uncomfortable to Busting with life!

Things went wrong.

I was feeling dull because of some health reasons.

On the other hand, I did not like the way they approached a project in the office the leadership is scattered and the instructions are not even clear.

So, I was not happy with whatever was happening.

The evening went I was still feeling exhausted till today morning.

I can create the Ashram.

First time when I visited the ashram I knew that I was not able to create anything like this even if I try for the rest of my life. That much I was clear and I fixed in my mind that I will not fight here with the system.

But suddenly I started feeling the other way yesterday.

I started imagining maybe I can buy a piece of land.

To energuge I can take sadhguru sannidhi

I will start my own yoga classes.

I will have to go for HYTT and all.

I know it is not a piece of chocolate and even if I do it I would choose not to put such weird effort unless I discover myself.

Avoiding the issue.

Suddenly I realised that I was trying to avoid the uncomfortableness that I am feeling within because of this external environment.

This is the exact reason why I did not choose to do a job but started my own business and that is why I was being able to explore more of life.

But then finally I am here at a certain point and place where if I feel the same way then I have no place to go. I can’t move to another point because the only way I can move ahead is this only.

And the fact that if I am the topper of this class then I am in the wrong class remains the same.

So, if I am feeling uncomfortable about it then it is good and I must go through it.

I am done running away.

Yesterday I wrote only the feelings and the experiences that I was having not the solution that I always used to do.

I did not want to solve anything just wanted to be aware of what was happening and what is there in the recorded cd of my karma.

I must be comfortable with everything because the consciousness is untouched by everything that is out there

the life will remain the same.

we are doing all of this nonsense for some reason but exploring the consciousness is what ai am after.

Blossoming the life.

I watched a video f Sadhguru where he was speaking about life.

the purpose of it and all the reasons why and how one should live and liberate.

he only mentioned blossoming.

That is what io felt within. I know how it feels and I create it consciously now I just have to create more often that is the task.

so when I was coming from Konrai to Biksha Hall. I was just busting with joy within me.

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