When you wake up in the morning with enthusiasm, and soon enough it turns out to be insecurity.
I started over looking the html and css codes so that, if he incase ask some questions, then I would be able to answer them.
I prepared the speech many times in front of the mirror so that I could look professional.
I called Kishore sir around 11:00Am and he did not picked his call.
Constantly, one thought was going on in my mind that how to tell him that I am not the expert on this field but I will be.
I know, I am a good teacher. Yet, I have a personality trait that I can’t approach something without complete conviction of it.
I could not call him back.
I felt tremendously bad. I tried to email growth school, I tried to search job applications and applied for school and college teacher jobs.
I was not convinced with any of them. I started panicking. My body started shivering, chest pain, and a constant feeling of why I did not finish what I have started.
Later in the afternoon I went out and I saw niki on the marathalli bridge… because she had to go for some interview…
This was a kind of coincidence I was expecting, if I came here anonymous.
I walked towards the Jspider new office and came back… I waited at the side of the KLM mall and observed the traffic. I moved in all the direction clueless looking for nothing.
then I came back and when I came back I realised that I already have a job with videopreneur and today only palash said… take the administration from me… so this means my salary will also increase with this.
So, this could be a good income source untill i have any other sources.
I came back home and started looking things from this perspective and everything fall into pieces…
Laying on the bed I was constantly thinking Put full effort in videopreneur and then reach to kishore sir and ask for what are the criteria for being a teacher in jspider and also start taking webinars for confidence building from here…
So I worked till the evening for videopreneur and then moved out with trousers and a tee on.
I still did not had clue what to do, where to go…
I reached to the bus stop and stood there for a while and busses are passing by one after another…
then I hop on a bus and said forum mall. because my roommate works over there at allen soley.
I reached there and called bidyut and talked to her for a long time and she always picks the call and talk untill one of us dont realise the work.
Then I went into the mall and found him. I met another guy at the same store, talked to him, met another artist guy and talked to him as well… He show me the entire mall, food court, and also I went inside the staff room and eat the food there.
But the highlight was me talking to other people. Having some deep convesation. This is something always excites me.
That’s how the night went… today also I am gonna approach the life with a better way.
But I know certainly, this city can give me so much more, If I keep asking for it, the city owes me.
The day started with excitement converted to nervousness and then excited at the end. is not this how roller coaster move ?
see you tomorrow:)
cheers,
Swapnesh
