After yesterday’s blog, I went and took one dip, did my Surya Kirya, and then Pradakshina.
The last 3 Pradakhina has made some fundamental changes within me.
Something within me is moving.
Suddenly became conscious.
I did retain that consciousness for a long time.
I could feel that I am mortal and everything that is to be done it should be done now only.
During the dip and Surya Kriya, it went normal but during the Pradakshiuna it really picked the Pace.
When I came back I did not want to talk.
I kept reminding myself that THE reason I am here is not a joke.
I have sacrificed things for this.
I have experienced all of this.
I just can’t mess with all of these this time. Because this time I have the necessary support that I was always looking for.
I have been postponing because I was not in the Ashram but now that I am in the Ashram How can I forget the pain of living outside and dying to come here?
The Sense of Time.
When I came back from the Pradakshina, I went straight inside Dhyanalinga and sat there for 15 minutes and during the entire time, I was just reminding myself that it must happen now and now only.
And just before I got up to come out of DHyanalinga, I could not recall how long I was sitting inside of it.
Later that day after the Dinner, we had a meeting and I reached early there.
I again sat there for 15 minutes and it did not feel like that long.
The best part was. For most of the seconds, I was aware of myself.
Choose not to talk.
Some people came and tried to talk.
But there was nothing important.
I did respond to them internally but my mouth did not open.
For some, it was almost open but then when I see they are okay with that I choose to leave and did not give any explanation.
But the fact that I am not talking and remain silent makes sense to me.
Because I can’t just release the energies like that.
I need to keep them within and burn myself.
They must be channelised towards up.
While talking I am forgetting what I am here for and I don’t think I can afford that.