The journey is fun and interesting because it is just starting off.
This is my last attempt.
I have a roommate.
When I had a talk with him he said he did his Sammyama in 2019.
5 years ago.
So far, he is continuing his journey with spirituality.
This is true that nothing has happened yet. But what else could have happened?
This was supposed to be like this only.
You will also live like a normal human being living outside.
It is just the culture and the surrounding apart from that everything is going to remain the same.
Last Attempt.
My roommate said, ” This one is his last attempt and post that he will not be doing anything.”
make sense.
How long should one wait?
But this is not something that would happen in a day.
It needs a certain dedication and effort.
Irony.
Huh! But nobody knows where to put effort.
Because again it is not effort but a certain way of being. ANgain we don’t know how to be.
So the path is uncertain. No guidance on the path.
Only tools are there. No sense of growth or stagnation.
But life is going and going.
Panic becomes normal and natural. So, it’s better they must do things that they have not done.
Missing the opportunity.
This is why when I see people coming for spirituality without experiencing the true need for it, i feel sorry for them
Because all they would feel is a waste of time.
Because nothing will happen for sure.
But if you see the outside world. that is fun but if you see the entire at the same time. is even miserable.
So, one must do all the fun till exhaustion so that you never feel missed out.
Still Hopeless.
Will I remain hopeless all my life?
I can do everything with a lot of joy but there is no such need in the world nor have I any such interest to entertain.
What to do?
What is the Path?
Sanyaas is not cool.
It is more ordinary than the ordinary.
Maybe that is the reason why I want it.
Because in the end all I will have to do is just live until you die.
All the dreams and desires have already gone.
-Swapneswar
It is not the path that I am choosing,
It is whatever that is left for me.
There is no reason to live.
No interest in anything just live until I die.
Things will be here and there just to have a little fun around but then overall when you see an eagle-eye perspective all you know is nothing matters.
Sit silent and Pass the Entire Life.
This will be the Achievement if I could do that.
Just sit and sit until the time runs out.
Seems like a hopeless would remain hopeless for his entire life.
PS: After yesterday’s sadhana I am back to square 1
The little ray of hope.
As long as Sadhguru lives. There is hope.
One day the guru will turn.
-Swapneswar
There is also the pain of making people realise what he could have done.
The sunlight will fall.
There are no boundaries that hold.
You must live,
until there live master, there is hope.
Riding the Wave
If there is a flood in the river.
You can either ride the wave or try to hold on.
Riding is always the smartest option because if you try to hold on, today or tomorrow, you will be washed away.
But right now should I be serious and keep the sadhana on? Or should I just involve myself and go as it goes?
If I am riding the wave then I have to be conscious. If I am not conscious it’s okay to be serious for a while.
Because to bring necessary awareness into the system, I may need a lot of conscious focus.
If I am riding the wave ignorantly then there is no worth doing that.
So, my approach was correct as long as I am not making myself dead serious.
There should be ease within. Just protecting from outside forces so that I can look inward.
Don’t know right or Wrong.
I have no idea what is right or what is wrong.
But before I go completely in the outside I need a significant sense of calmness within so that I can consciously ride the wave or else I would just be washed away.
I should stick and hold within and ride on the outside.